Conversing With A Madman

5 long years may pass before I ever gaze upon your beauty. But I count the days, the hours,till this life I was destined for becomes my reality. Life can do awful things to one’s mind one’s emotional state. Is it love that can heal me, or is it the healing I must do first in order to love? Ither way I find myself standing, eagerly awaiting a sign. A sign from the  benevolent ones. The ones who shower these lands with love. Why then am I denied this simple pleasure. Is love not as simple as the tree that bares the fruit? Is it not as beautiful as the doves who enchant one another and live hopelessly in love till the day one of them die? There in lies the problem I’m the dove who was left to walk this world alone. But I was not the last picked. I was never picked. Denied by the same ones that say love is all, it’s everything. Why then… Why am I left? To be discarded like trash. With the scavengers, like the rats, and the devilish birds with beaks that feast on the flesh of the dead. To wander these halls in silence. To witness beauty come and go. I’m left to wonder, am I not worthy enough to feel? Were my emotions striped from me as a child. Is this nothing more than a hellish game where I’ve been chosen by the sames Gods that inspire love and good fortune? 5 years… 5 years and now time decides to slow. Hours have now turned into days as time again reveals it is not my friend but a foe. Dripping by unlike the river that rushes from one destination to the next. Like the time when you were in my arms.
I tried to slow it… I promise I tried. Death will surely come for me. The feast I’ve given to my faithful companions. The monster inside me growls in discomfort. But he is not my concern. Only you…


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